Shhh. Come closer. You'll never believe this. In the midddle of a
roundabout, in the center of Paris, Ronan Keating is talking to himself.
If you keep shush, you can hear him...
Ronan: How are ya, Ronan? Are ya well?
Ronan: Not too bad, thanks very much. It's good to talk to ya.
Ronan: You too man, how's everything going?
Ronan: Yeah, good thanks, I can't believe I'm talking to myself. Do you know it's the first sign of madness?
Ronan: And you know what the second sign is - answering yourself.
Ronan: Oh my God, I'm answering myself as well. This is really scary!
Ronan: So, umm, how have things been going with Boyzone lately...
head) nah, nah, that's a terrible start.
Oh dear. What's got into Ronan? Is it something in the Parisian air, or has the boy wonder lost it? Well actually it's our fault. Y'see, tonight Ronan and the Boyz will rock the beautiful French capital, but before that happens, Ro' is keen to answer all of Smash Hits' question about his soon-to-be mega solo career. But, the truth is, Smash Hits doesn't have any question. Nada, nothing, not-a -one. Oops.
Well, can you blame us? You've heard the song -- you say it best when
you say nothing at all! Besides, everyone knows Ronan - TV presenter, singer,
father, future President of Ireland - is so darn clever, he could think
of better question himself. And answer them. Do everything basically. Anyway,
keep your voice down. Ronan's in the middle of an interview...
Ronan: Well, you know Ro', it's a daunting time for me. It's all new, it's gonna be scary being away from the lads but it's something I want to do and I'm looking forward to it.
Ronan: There's a lot of talk about it in the UK. There's a buzz about it...
Ronan: Oh well, thanks very much, but you never know which way it'll go, you're only as big as your last single.
Ronan: You're always so modest?
Ronan: Yeah, thanks very much. I try to be, no-one likes a cocky pop star.
Ronan: But what about these rumours that your solo single might lead to the end of Boyzone?
Ronan: Well, it's understandable that people are saying that, but we don't want to break up, this is something we want to do as individuals.
Ronan: Oh, c'mon Ronan. You might get a taste for this solo stuff...
Ronan: Well, you never know what might happen, but you have to take it one day at a... oh, everyone's looking at me now, 'cos I'm talking to meself.
Ronan: You're not talking to yourself at all Ronan, I'm talking to you.
Ronan: Will you stop. Now you're getting weird on me!
Ronan: Er... I've forgotten what I was going to ask you ,Ro'.
(Pause. Both Ronans laugh, shrug, stare at the tape recorder and
then bravely soldier on.)
Ronan: You know, some interviews can be boring, some can be hard, but it's the only way to get my message across. And I enjoy doing them, I really do.
Ronan: But what about people like me, interviews. Do you not think they're always fishing for something?
Ronan: Aah, well maybe some of them are fishing for something, and there's always the writers who like to mock ya and knock ya, bother me. Only jealous people have to write the nasty bits.
Ronan: (Laughing.) Well, I won't be doing that. But what about when people ask you personal questions that you don't to answer?
Ronan: Well now, you have to answer them in a roundabout way - y'know, answer them in a totally different way to the way it was asked. In fact I'm doing it now, 'cos I don't know what I just asked myself. (Laughs. Pause.)
Ronan: Are there any questions you always wanted to be asked?
Ronan: Sure, like, "How much money do you want, Ronan?" Hahaha! Nah, I think I've been asked every question going, but I've never done an interview like this, which is cool. I've never asked myself the question. And it's kinda difficult, to be honest with you.
Ronan: Why's it difficult?
Ronan: I don't know, it's just weird, you're trying to splite your brain in half and be the interviewr and the interviewee. And it's not as easy as people would imagine it to be. Even now I'm going blank trying to think about what question to ask next...
Ronan: Aah yeah, but it's a good interview, it's different way of looking at things.
Ronan: Sure, I guess if I'd had more time to prepare for it, it would've been a better interview, I'm very sorry to the readers who are reading it, but it's not my fault, I was given 25 minutes to think about this one.
Ronan: And it's not my fault either, hahaha! (Pause.) So you've no wish to be an interviewer?
Ronan: NO! What about youeself, fancy being in an band?
Ronan: If there's a band I'd like to be in, it's Boyzone. But I don't think I'd be in a boyband, it's not my style. I'd be in a rock band, hahaha!
After running out of questions, Ronan heads for a nearby cafe, when
he orders a coffee and makes a list of subjects he should ask himself about.
So, by the time the coffee arrivals, both Ronans are ready to continue...
Ronan : Y'know, that was Stephen's decision and we all admire him for it. It was a big move and it was tough, but given the response of the fans I think it was definitely a positive one. You know when Yvonne and myself decided to get married we were scared about how the fans would react and they've been fantastic.
Ronan: And what is life at home like at the moment?
Ronan: Life at home is magic. I don't get home enough but when I do I make the most of it. At the moment the weather is good so we're having barbecues and stuff like that. Jack's growing up and we're laughing every day. Life's good, never been better.
Ronan: Is there anything else you want to say?
Ronan: Yeah, well Westlife's new single If I Let You Go is coming out on August 9, and the album's due for release in October. So things are looking good.
Ronan: C'mon now, that was just a shameless plug.
Ronan: Yeah, I know, hahaha!
Ronan: Is there anything you want to say about the other members of the band?
Ronan: Yeah, I do. They're a shower of (BEEP), hahaha! Nah, they're the best blokes I've ever met, and I hope to know them all long after all this is over.
Ronan: So Ronan, what about these rumours that you're going into movies...
Ronan: Aah, well obviously there's the Boyzone movies that will be coming up next year, but also a friend of mine, BP Fallon, who has written two books about Boyzone, will be getting together with myself to write the script for the another movie, but I don't want to give too much away at the moment.
Ronan: But what about all these other rumours...
Ronan: To be honest I don't want to get into any of that right now...
Ronan: Are you sure?
Yeah, no honestly I'd rather not talk about it.
Ronan: Now, c'mon Ronan.
Ronan: No, please.
Ronan: (shouting.) DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? I said please.
Ronan: (Laughing.) OK, Ro', well that's really all the questions I have for you. Thanks, I've really enjoyed this, you bring out the best in me as an interviewe and I just want to say good luck with the single, and I hope Jack and Yvonne are well. And listen, keep the high notes low, good luck and God bless you, man.
Ronan: Thanks very much. Bye, bye.
And with that, the two Ronans shake hands, slap each other on the back
and wave goodbye. Or they would except that Ronan - ever the perfectionist
- still isn't happy with that opening...
Ronan: This is opening, take two. So Ronan, how are you doing?
Ronan: Good thanks, busy at the minute. We're tired you know but life
has never been better. We're off to LA tomorrow actually. It's funny, everybody's
thinking that Boyzone are breaking up and in fact we're going to break
America. (Smiles.) Little do they know.